I was walking clueless, eyes fixed on the horizon. I wish I could cross the ocean, get burned in the fire of the sun — to feel something for real, something that once started couldn’t be undone..
I’m tired of drafting pages of stories that are ultimately corrected by destiny, leaving everything and restarting with no point. It makes me feel small, to try do with little of something, while you once wanted all…

I want to feel something real like the sun shining, what’s on the other side of horizon? something beyond my thoughts…if discovered would make me feel chosen…

otherwise– if everytime,

If love hurts me; then hurt me this badly that the wounds won’t show, new love wouldn’t grow, if I fail, then I fail so badly; that I kill all my dreams and in regret I never moan. And If I’ve to live a bad dream then let me live all alone….

“Let me live all alone.”

Losing is fine, but regaining control, that position, building up that trust, exactly living in that same time with that same energy feels impossible, and you never want to. And you never have to.. what’s done can’t be undone unless it’s fake. If something is real, it is true, it once felt never fades, never changes, if something accomplished by you is true, then it will never escape your hand, your life. But if it is false, you cannot cling on it forever. And that’s the only problem we are in a loop where we are hurt over and over again. Because we conciously chose things which are not meant to stay, and then we end up regretting.

Think of it like missing a moon shining at your window, even if this night will end today, and sun will show up tomorrow, but you know moon is real so it does show up everyday around that same time, your patience is rewarded because it is real. If you choose over people, a position, you can have it but for a certain time, you know this right? But you’re completely fine even if it’s for a short time, but once their presence end, you feel like life has ended… because you wanted something to stay which never promised. Even if you prepared yourself in mind, that you’ll be okay, but it doesn’t work, you made it a habit. Best is don’t chose, don’t adapt to those habits, when you know the end, if someone can really end this foolishness they’ll end this loop of regret.

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