No regret for missed phrases: Having a secret diary

Letters that never boarded the train. Those unsent letters that leaves moment unfinished!

When we leave for a journey, how many times have you bid goodbye, felt heavier, but those last words you could never say, they remained unsaid….

“A book that I close every night,
saving it from every eye.
When your heart holds too many secrets,
unlived desires, unsaid words,
they surely come out beautifully
when you write.”

I’ve never addressed a perfect goodbye,
even when we see through the eyes of cinema,
At a station, despite the hustle and bustle, rushing people around and announcements,
how you fall silent
and hear only in silence,
but still you cannot say
what was to be said in that moment…

“A real goodbye will never set you free,
it will give you a reason to meet again.”

When you leave without a word,
when people want to hear something,
but devoid of it,
they keep hopes alive of hearing again,
and you — for a moment — want to speak out your heart,
but does it happen?

The thing is,
we need to feel everything in the moment,
but once it’s over,
make sure you take your mind off it.

At the station,
if you couldn’t express — let it be,
if you couldn’t hold — then let it go,
if you couldn’t win it — then let yourself lose.

But, if you don’t want to carry
the burden of feelings
from previous moment to next,

either say it to yourself,
or leave it in your diary,
or say it aloud in that moment,

so you never regret,
so you never wait,
so you live a new life
with every new story…

“I have written several letters to myself,
drafting a whole diary,
but no — it’s private,
I don’t want anyone to read.

I never dare leave it unattended,
not that I care less,
but I keep it away
from eyes of passing people…

Even if they open it,
they won’t understand a word,
and I will feel ashamed
to announce my past,
my betrayals and my hurt.

I hide it,
it’s a mystery,
not a story to read.
It’s not about the good,
it is a store
for all my bad deeds.

I cannot open it
even in front of someone I believe.
But I wished
there could have been
one person who could see.

If there is god,
then I guess
that person would have been thee!

Somewhere, someday!